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"Defeat is a state of mind". You are defeated when you assume the mindset of a defeated person. You can't lose unless you believe that you lost. You may have heard the saying: "Near the highest peak of happiness lies the deepest abyss of sadness". Sometimes the dream suddenly turns into a nightmare and it's a very painful experience. The question is: do you live there for the rest of your life, or do you go on even stronger than before?

Here's a relationships fact that you should consider: Breaking-up is the rule. Marriage is the exception. Most women go through several bad break-ups until they finally learn everything they need to know to find and keep their Mr. Right in a long term relationship that will result in a marriage. Powerful women keep this fact in mind when they approach their love life. They don't have unrealistic expectations and they never assume permanent defeat after a break-up. Why? Because it's not in their best interest to do so. However, these special women know the secrets of several arts, like the art of letting go, the art of seduction, the art of influence etc. and these secrets, these understandings, these strategies allow them to succeed where most women fail.

Even after a really bad break-up, a powerful woman, one who has become a master of her own love life, will take a deep breath, fully appreciate the experiences she has gone through in the relationship, then turn around, say the magic words("Case closed! Next!") and go her own way, never looking back again. Ever!

But how does such a woman have this incredible ability to let go and move on instantly, instead of suffering for months like most women do? Well, it's not something she was born with. It's something that she learned along the way. Something that can be mastered and used to create an amazing love life.

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Even the greatest men get married one day. Find out more about the secrets known by those incredible women who can get over a break-up in a matter of days and then master the art of attracting and keeping a real man in a long-term relationship. A 100% practical and elegant system of understandings and strategies can be found at http://HeartBrokenNoMore.com

Stop Divorce and Save Your Relationship

2009-08-05T12:20:00.000-07:00

Stop Divorce and Save Your Relationship

Monday, January 5th, 2009 at 4:24 pm

If you want to stop divorce, you have to convince the person what wants to divorce you to give the relationship another try. This isn’t always possible, but it’s absolutely necessary if you have a chance of stopping a divorce. A divorce can be stopped at virtually any stage—before it’s filed or just before it needs the final paperwork. The earlier you stop a divorce, the more likely it is that the divorce won’t be restarted, at least not anytime soon.

So to stop a divorce, you must convince the person to give the relationship another chance. If you have been begging the other person to give you another try or pleading for them to get back together with you, stop now. This might seem counterproductive, as if now that the person has less resistance it will make it easier for them to divorce you. But your pleading probably wasn’t doing anything but convincing them that divorce is a good idea anyway. Who wants to be around someone who is behaving that way?

If you can start acting more mature and behave in a more pleasant manner, it might surprise the other person and help stop divorce. Explain that you really don’t want the divorce and you want another chance in a calm way. The person already knows this so you screaming or carrying on won’t help your chances. Just make it clear that you’re hurt and very sad, and you really want another chance. You might be surprised how the other person reacts when you change your behavior.

You can also show a mature side of yourself that the other person might not have seen over the last several weeks and suggest marital or couples counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for million of couples and your relationship could benefit from it, too. If you can get the other person to agree to couples counseling, then you have precious time before they file for or attempt to finalize a divorce to convince them to give you and the relationship another chance.

During counseling you’ll have the opportunity to show the person why they fell in love with you. You can remind them why you’re together in the first place. And if you can show honest effort in wanting to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling—and many probably will—that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop divorce temporarily, but permanently.

When you succeed and stop divorce, you must remember that the person was about to divorce you and it would be easy enough for them to change his or her mind and file for divorce later. Having already thought about divorce and maybe even having gone far enough as to file for divorce at one time makes the decision to file again easier. So be aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling. It’s easier to stop divorce temporarily than to have a good relationship for the long term.

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Seek Counseling to Save a Marriage

2009-08-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

Seek Counseling to Save a Marriage

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Married couples tend to disregard the importance of counseling, not knowing how essential counseling is when trying to save a marriage. Couples who experience problems with their union wait too long before seeking the help of a marriage counselor. Counseling has many benefits, such as giving space for people in a relationship to discover the cause of their conflicts in order to find the solutions to these problems. Lots of couples think that succumbing to counseling is just like admitting that their marriage is becoming a failure, and they don’t want that.

In order to save a marriage, you must look at what counseling can do to save your marital woes. To make counseling work, both partners must be fully committed to the cause saving the relationship. Counseling will not help if one of you is just going through it half-heartedly. A councilor will be of great help especially if you as a couple decided to seek advice earlier, before the damage have been truly done. To save a marriage, a couple must communicate openly and must be aware of even the subtle changes in the relationship. Being aware of such nuances can help contain issues before they become too difficult for counseling to solve.

Counseling will not work if one of you has already detached himself completely with the other. There is only so much that outside help can do to save a marriage. Full cooperation is needed to make counseling work for you. If the problem is already a bit complex, individual counseling can be done, especially if one partner is not comfortable spilling his guts out in the presence of the spouse.

Aside from counseling, there are other things that you can do to help save a marriage. One can seek the help of family and friends, provided that they are not biased towards one of you. People around you should be willing to recognize the faults and shortcomings of both partners in order to come up with fair advice.

Seeking the help of a marriage counselor can clear up the common problems that married couples face. These problems include infidelity, compatibility issues and communication problems. Counseling can even help individuals who let past experiences or relationships affect their marriage.

To save a marriage, both partners must be willing to do everything it takes to make the relationship work. Love must still be in the equation in order to make counseling work. Issues can become more complicated when certain factors are involved, such as children and financial problems. But a good counselor knows how to solve these problems. What’s good to know is that most marriages can be saved with good counseling, and both partners should have enough courage to face their problems and deal with the necessary in steps in order to restore the harmony in their union and save a marriage. Good counseling is easy to find; there are lots of counselors out there who are willing to do what they can to salvage what’s left of your marriage.

Save Your Marriage - It's NOT too Late to Save Your Marriage! by Sabrina Werles

2009-08-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

Save Your Marriage - It's NOT too Late to Save Your Marriage! by Sabrina Werles

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How to stop your divorce - when you are always quarreling, and your marriage seems to be at the end, PLEASE don't think it has to end in divorce! There are ways to stop your divorce now!

If you are in a marriage where either you or your Kids are abused, either emotionally, physically, or sexually, PLEASE find help right away! If your partner threatens either you or your children's well-being if you go away, please don't listen to them - they are hurting you already. That is NOT a marriage you should be in, and there are ways for you to get help.

With that being said, I am assuming that you are in a marriage that Is struggling - you and your other half are always against one another. Each day it gets worse. Not long ago, you were in love with one another. If not, you wouldn't have wanted to married to begin with! The first five years of marriage are the toughest. Marriage is a significant adjustment for the both of you. You need to learn to live with each other, dealing with both pleasant times and bad.

The following tips will help you get your marriage back to being a good marriage, and will help you to make your marriage better in the process.

#1: Interaction - I know you've heard it formerly, but you Have to to hear it again. Once you desire to know how to stop a divorce, you HAVE to find out how to Talk effectively with your other half. This is very tough to start. I know it is. I've looked at my own companion many times and wondered how I was going to converse to him - I had no idea where to even start!

Once you understand how to talk to each other, it really does get easier to do. You will observe that your marriage develops a bond like never before, as well.

#2: Today's marriages are NOT like they were 50 years previously! In the good old days, the husband went to labor, and the wife stayed at home and looked after the household and raised the kids. Those times were Easier, and we really don't get the luxury of that These days. In our day, 8 out of 10 households need both spouses working. This truth, in itself, leads to marital difficulties.

Married Partners Have to build a mutual respect for one another, which is often not the case. This involves both partners having a say in the finances, household purchases, utilities, et cetera. You must both be able to say what you feel, and say it without restraint. When you desire to find out how to stop a divorce, you ought to find out how to regard one another honestly!

#3: Be on the same team. As a married team, you ought to have shared goals. You must act as one to arrive at those goals. Of course, you are two Individual persons, so you will in addition have other things in life that you want that are separate from your other half. But the major goals (whether to bear kids, whether to purchase a brand new vehicle, whether to invest, et cetera.) are the goals that you must act jointly as a team for.

#4: Know that your marriage IS going to alter. Marriages ALL go through changes. You grow older, your wants and needs transform. This is a very natural part of any marriage. People tend to get separated once this happens, simply for the reason that they don't know what to do when the changes Take place. Divorce is an easy way out in these cases. A strong marriage can outlast everything! This leads back to the #1 tip - communication. When you both talk your feelings and feelings through these changes, you can work through them. As one.

As previously said, each marriage has its difficulties. The marriages with good interaction and sensitivity to one another's feelings are the solution to your victory in how to stop a divorce. It will take a little work, and probably a decent bit of time. But it's your marriage! You vowed before God to stay with your other half in nice times and bad, in illness and in wellbeing.

The earlier you discover, the quicker your marriage will be favorable again! By following these clear-cut steps, you will find out how to stop a divorce. This system comes highly recommended, and has been proven many times over. Don't let one rocky part finish your marriage - there is just too much at stake!

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By following these steps, you will discover how to stop a divorce. This system comes highly recommended, and has been proven many times over. Don't let one rocky part ruin your marriage - there is just too much at stake! http://www.stopyourdivorce.info/save_your_marriage.htm

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Making Marriage Work: Let's Get Away From It All by DerBingle

2009-08-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

Making Marriage Work: Let's Get Away From It All by DerBingle

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Many couples look at spouses that have been married a long time and vow that it will never happen to them. The whole humdrum predictability of the relationship has squeezed the romance out of a lot of marriages while at the same time bringing them to a grinding halt. And then without realizing it, the same couples fall victim.

It's not like they went out of their way to make it happen. In their opinion they did everything possible to fight it off. The problem is it is so easy to fall into the trap. Naturally in a relationship there has to be a certain amount of routine. After all you need to pay the rent or mortgage so the two of you have to go to work. Then if you have kids you have to attend to their needs on a regular basis until they are old enough to fend for themselves.

Of course there are other obligations within and outside of the relationship that require your attention more often than you would probably like. Add to the fact that you only have twenty four hours in a day which means your time is limited to get things done. Also we are human and can only do so much before our bodies demand that we rest.

In going from one obligation to another, it is not too hard to figure out why marriages can effortlessly fall into a rut. Life intrudes and it can be a chore finding a way to make time for yourself let alone share quality time with your spouse.

Sometimes the answer is to shake things up a bit and one of the best ways is to be impulsive. Both of you have accumulated enough sick or vacations days from your respective jobs. Use them periodically. Don't just wait for that annual two week vacation to your regular travel destination; take a day or two off, hop into a car and go. Where? Whatever direction your car is pointed in.

Too scary? Then pick out a place the two of you have never been, go online and do some research. If you go this route then make sure the two of you are doing this together. You work on one phase while your spouse takes the other. Call each other at work and share what you have learned.

This can get the two of you really fired up about going. Do not wait too long and spend an inordinate amount of time planning. Taking too much time has a way of planting the seeds of doubt which makes it easier to find excuses as to why you can't go.

There is going to be a certain amount of routine in every marriage relationship. That's fine. Stability is important. But stability does not mean that fun and excitement get put on a shelf until an opportunity presents itself. That may never happen so it is important for you and your spouse to take the initiative and create those opportunities as much as possible. That's a routine that can keep your marriage enjoyable for years to come.

About the Author

Article written by Daryl Campbell. What is the number one way to make sure your marriage last? Find out at The Relationship Tip

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Stop Your Divorce - Simple Ways to Save Your Marriage! by Sabrina Werles

2009-08-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Stop Your Divorce - Simple Ways to Save Your Marriage! by Sabrina Werles

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Most marriages start alike - happy, fun, and jovial. Then setbacks happen in life, and a many marriages have a rough time coping with the difficulties they must now deal with. You CAN work through this! It does NOT have to result in a divorce! So, how is it possible to stop your divorce - save your marriage?

As long as you are NOT in an abusive relationship, (physical or mental), your marriage should be saved. With today's terrible financial difficulties, and lifestyles that don't allow for much family time, it's no wonder that some marriages suffer with hard times. But it doesn't need to be this way!

Human nature makes us want to get out of any setting that makes us feel depressed - feeling hurt, unhappy, angry, and so on. That's why more than half of marriages suffer divorce. Don't let your marriage to turn out to be part of the statistics - you have to stop your divorce and save your marriage!

To save your marriage, both partners must to sit down and discuss what's going on. Both partners have to decide what's going on with your marriage. This talk cannot be one-sided! Once you have talked about it, and figured out what's happening to bring down your marriage, you can start to fix the problem or problems.

Working with each other is not the only way, but it is the best way to stop your divorce - save your marriage. When your marriage was happy, you were both in high spirits. When times get rough, you both must be strong, and you simply have to support one another. By doing this, your marriage can and WILL be great again!

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You simply can't put it off any more! You MUSThttp://hubpages.com/hub/stop-your-divorce-save-your-marriage Get your marriage back on the right path!

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Save Your Christian Marriage Review by Jessica Andrews

2009-07-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

Save Your Christian Marriage Review by Jessica Andrews

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Hardship in marriages appear despite the religion or race you fall upon. So finding the right guidance on how you're able to overcome your relationship problems can be tough.

Just as well there is an e-book out there entitled Save Your Christian Marriage which goes through many of the frequent problems Christian couples endure.

For a really great Save Your Christian Marriage Review, check out Save Your Christian Marriage by Lee H Baucom

According to this guide, other solutions are to be explored first before even considered getting divorced. Trying to avoid a divorce, is viewed as a negative use of your energy force, and instead couples is recommended to instead look at gearing up their positive energy and directing it to creating a relationship that will honor God.

Your spouse and you will need to exert a substantial amount of effort and be determined to work towards some personal change in order for this to be able to become a reality. Basing his approach on bible principles, the author has discarded traditional approaches usually utilized in marriage counseling which you will find elsewhere.

Starting with a common life direction with each other is suggested in Save Your Christian Marriage having a direct outline following shared goals. Though there isn't a heap of bible verse within Save Your Christian Marriage, it is more based on Christian marriage principles with some verse sprinkled within.

This guide is based more on mis-perceptions believed to be where crisises start. Instead of like most marriage counseling which typically focuses closely on improving communication skills. As referred to in biblical terms, what you should understand is that it is not just about yourself or your spouse but rather it needs to be a combined effort.

Having decided to make a commitment that together you plan on building the absolute best marriage humanly possible that's when a lot of the things which were at the start important to you, will eventually begin to seem less important.

After getting past the 'myself' and 'you' being separate beings and shifting towards the 'we', individual strengths prevail which you can use to compliment your partner. If you find that the both of you are always arguing, you will find that there are ways on how to bring back the serenity again.

Save Your Christian Marriage will reveal to you exactly how to put first what will most likely be better for your marriage and not what you personally wish for. Churches can also play a role in getting your relationship back on the right track again by sharing guidance and support.

I trust that you liked this article, I also have reviews of some great products that you might want take a look at here: Best Relationship Rescue Guides

About the Author

Jessica Andrews has been in a loving relationship for the past 2.5 years, thanks largely to the guides she has used and reviewed. She is now committed to ensuring that other couples reap the same benefits in which a healthy loving relationship can offer. Save Your Christian Marriage Review is just one of the many guides she has reviewed.

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Can Your Relationship Survive an Affair? Should You Stay or Should You Go? by Sharon Rivkin

2009-07-29T11:57:00.000-07:00

Can Your Relationship Survive an Affair? Should You Stay or Should You Go? by Sharon Rivkin

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Few things put as much strain on a marriage as an affair. When we see affairs exposed in very public ways, played out in the news involving politicians, celebrities and athletes, we all cringe and say "that will never happen to me." In reality, it happens to a lot of couples, rich or poor, beautiful or not. Infidelity is an equal opportunity relationship buster.

Finding the Seed of the Affair

When couples struggling with an affair come to me, I tell them no matter what the circumstances, an affair never happens out of the blue. It's actually an extreme symptom of a relationship that's been in trouble for some time. I also tell them an affair is a powerful catalyst that can either end their relationship or take it to a greater level of intimacy.

Even an affair that seems starkly one-sided isn't. It always takes two to dance the dance of a relationship and to create unresolved issues. Though to some this may sound almost blasphemous, the truth is, every affair has two victims. When the issues come out in the open, the couple has a chance to stop the victim cycle, and each person can begin to take responsibility for their own wounds.

I've found the best way to get to the heart of a couple's issues, is to ask them about their first argument as a couple. Usually, there's stunned silence and puzzled looks. For them, the affair is the only relevant issue. It's as though a fire has burned all the oxygen and left them no breath for talking about anything else. But I find that in almost all cases, in that first argument, they'll find the root of their struggles as a couple and the seed of the affair.

To Stay or Go

Why do some marriages not only survive, but they actually grow in the wake of an affair? Couples who make it through are determined to look at themselves and not just to cast blame on their partner. They recognize that the affair arose as a symptom of long-standing problems between the two of them. They have a strong desire to make their relationship work. They understand that the work will not be quick and easy and they adopt a realistic time frame. Deep down, they know they have a genuine love for one another.

If both partners sincerely work on the relationship, glimmers of hope will spring up all along. For most people, however, it seems to take at least a year to move through the full cycle of renewal.

When couples don't stay together, it has less to do with the particular circumstances of the affair than with the couple's long-term history, and with their willingness and ability to explore it. Sometimes it seems the reservoir of resentment and hostility is just too overwhelming, and that so much damage has been done that there is little left to salvage.

When one partner cannot or will not do anything to change damaging behavior, then the only solution may be for the other partner to leave. To stay in a relationship in which one continues to be hurt reflects a belief that one deserves no better. It's not a failure or a sign of weakness to leave a destructive relationship. Rather, it's a sign of success and strength in oneself and heightened self-esteem.

There is no "right" way to deal with an affair: some couples stay together, some couples separate. No matter what the eventual outcome, an affair challenges both partners to look at themselves and their relationship in a radically new way.

About the Author

A licensed therapist for over 28 years, Sharon M. Rivkin, MA, MFT, is the author of The First Argument: Cutting to the Root of Intimate Conflict and developer of the "First Argument Technique," a groundbreaking method that heals and saves relationships. For more info go to http://www.sharonrivkin.com

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Courtesy And Manners Between Couples by Timothy Kolawole

2009-07-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

Courtesy And Manners Between Couples by Timothy Kolawole

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Courtesy and manners should be part and parcel of every married couple's lives, but these social niceties are ignored or even sneered at today. Believe it or not, courtesy is timeless because it's based on the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Good manners never go out of style, no matter how many silly sitcoms you watch on TV. Unfortunately, courtesy and manners seem to be a dying art. If your husband lacks these qualities, the obvious time to discuss your differences was before the marriage. Now that you have said your "I dos", what should you do? When my mother insisted that we always wear a shirt at mealtime, refrain from putting our elbows on the table, say please to one another, and use good manners in our treatment of each other, she remarked, "You will never be in better company than the company you are in right now." I am most grateful for her insistence upon these things because I married a woman who enjoys courtesy and politeness. I am inclined to believe that most women do. A woman likes to be treated like a lady; therefore, a husband should continue giving his wife "preferential treatment" after they are married. It is a wise husband who opens doors, including car doors, for his wife and generally treats her as a gentleman should treat a lady. You will be making an investment in your wife's happiness and self-respect, which will increase her love for you. Since love begets love, this is one of the best investments you can make in your marriage. Once while holding a family conference in a church, I announced that during the next evening's session I would tell men "how to get your wife to treat you like a king," For some strange reason, we had our largest crowd the next night. "Are you ready to know how to get your wife to treat you like a king?" "Yes!" I heard hundreds of male voices say. "Then treat her like a queen!" My advice startled some of the men for its simplicity, but it works.

About the Author

Timothy Kolawole has helped many people in the area of family life. For more current information about family life style you want Please Visit: Marriage Answer

Stages of Long Term Relationships

2009-07-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

Stages of Long Term Relationships

Many Couples Counseling experts agree that there are relatively predictable stages to long term relationships. It is important to note that not all relationships include a legal vow of marriage so while these stages are traditionally called “Martial Stages” they are actually defining stages for couples who have been together long term.

Understanding the different stages that a long term relationship generally goes through is a way to help couples realize that they are not alone in dealing with the issues, thoughts and troubles that are found in these stages. Knowing they are not alone helps a couple understand that their relationship and its ups and downs are a part of a normal cycle and not a reason to call it quits.

If you approach these stages as a map then your understanding of them will serve you as a guide to traversing the sometimes difficult terrain of a lifelong committed relationship.

The Five Basic Stages of Long Term Relationships

The Romance, or Honeymoon Stage
The Reality Stage
The Childrearing Stage
The Accommodation Stage
The Success, or Transformation Stage

Here is a brief description of the Romance Stage

The Romance Stage, sometimes called the Honeymoon Stage or the Infancy stage, is by far the most discussed and studied. This makes sense when you consider that, as it is the first stage, most everyone has felt it and experienced it. It’s popular because it is both common and exciting. Yes, it’s a great ride, but keep in mind that most everyone who wants to ride gets a ticket.

In this stage, there is a feeling of well-being and physical desire for each other. This feeling is intense, with all the newness and excitement stimulated by the production of chemicals in your bodies that increase energy and positive attitudes as well as heighten sexuality and sensuality. It is common for couples in this stage to commit to each other permanently.

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Win Ex Boyfriend Back - Keep Your Dignity by Jim Zamjohn

2009-07-27T11:50:00.000-07:00

Win Ex Boyfriend Back - Keep Your Dignity by Jim Zamjohn

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Do you feel like you need to beg on bended knee to try to win ex boyfriend back? You may feel you need to lose any and all pride you have or lower yourself and feel 'less than'. There is no need to further hurt your self-image just because the breakup may have done a lot to hurt your pride. You should be able to retain your dignity and still win ex boyfriend back. There are things you can do that will make it unnecessary for you to go begging after him to get him back. The way you look at yourself can be hurt enough just by getting dumped. If, after you broke up with him, you realize you make a major mistake, you may feel like you need to demean yourself and beg him to forgive your mistake. To win ex boyfriend back that may not be what is required. Think about what attracted you to him in the first place, especially if he broke up with you. What kind of spirits were you in when you met? Did you have a different attitude? Try putting all the pieces back into the relationship that existed in the beginning if you want to try again. Let yourself be visible to him and make sure that he sees that you are the same person he fell in love with before. Also make him aware of the fact that you know he sees you. Make it impossible for him not to see that you are still that same person. Heck, even if he doesn't notice you, someone else just might and that could be as good as or even better than what you had. You can show him how wonderful you are, but you can't force him to want to get back together. However, there might just be someone else out there who takes notice and makes a move. If you think it was a mistake to have broken up with him, let him know. Tell him you don't expect him to come back and you understand his anger and that whatever happens going forward is OK with you. Let him know you know you made a big mistake and that you are sorry if you hurt him. Don't beg for forgiveness, but definitely ask for it. Win ex boyfriend back by begging is no good. Let him know that you wish things had worked out differently, you don't expect a second chance, probably don't even deserve one and then just walk away. He will make a move if he is curious about your motives or if he's just truly interested in getting back together with you. To accept the consequences of an action and admit a mistake takes great strength and character. He will notice what you have done and want to get back together if he is as special as you really believe he is. You may find it a huge uphill climb to win ex boyfriend back unless you know some magic love spells. If you were meant to be together, in marriage or in a long term relationship, then it will happen. You need to trick him a little and make him believe it is all his idea to get back together. Just know that you may have to may have to resort to some ninja or stealth tactics to win back ex boyfriend, but you do not have to give up your dignity to get it done.

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For a Free relationship repair eBook and additional Relationship Repair articles: How to fix a broken relationship

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Should I remarry my ex spouse? by Gem Stone

2009-07-26T11:43:00.000-07:00

Taking Stock after Divorce by Sandra Prior

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It took hours of therapy, and more hours drinking vodka cranberries with friends, to figure out why I was in this sexually rewarding yet emotionally draining downward cycle. And the answer is that I was addicted to charismatic, unstable and emotionally unpredictable women. This was nothing new.

My pilot father died in a plane crash when I was 13, leaving me in the care of my mom, a charismatic, unstable and emotionally unpredictable woman. Left alone with three kids, she struggled mightily, particularly with me, the only boy.

I learnt to keep her happy and smiling by apologizing for things I hadn't done wrong, coddling her and subsuming my own wishes in order to keep the peace. All you head doctors out there won't be surprised that I lugged that steamer trunk of emotional baggage into my romantic relationships. From my 20-year-old film-auteur-wannabe varsity girlfriend to my wife, I had liaisons with tremendously talented and sometimes sweet women who demanded unconditional appeasement from me.

In taking responsibility for always picking the impossible girl over the sweet woman, I also had to accept my less charming characteristics. If cutting remarks and impatience were virtues, I'd be spooning with Joan of Arc. Every woman I have ever loved has endured withering sarcasm and condescension, an ugly side of me that I didn't fully realize until I watched a dear friend mock his sweet girlfriend for not being able to name any members of the Ramones. I thought to myself, God, is that what I'm like?

I try every day to be a little less of a prick, but some days I fail. And you realize that not every dream girl you meet is going to sign up for that. I try to be a better man and approach every date with optimism.

Still, dating fatigue kicks in. You reach a point where you've told your life story so many times, you feel like a bad comedian on an endless tour. When the Chardonnay arrives on the table, I'll open tonight's monologue with the self-deprecating anecdote about being the only whit guy at a former heavyweight champ's wedding. If it's a good audience, I'll save the death of my father for dessert.

Not long ago, I met a woman for dinner at a restaurant I cherish like a dependable friend. But that evening was a classic disaster; a pal had oversold a friend of hers, telling me that Karen could be Mary-Louise Parker's twin. Not quite.

We didn't hit it off, and when she excused herself for the ladies' room, I recalled how many women I'd brought here for dinner. By the time she returned with a bright smile and said, 'You were telling me about a story you did in Angola', I was up to 12 or 13.

It was all I could do not to start crying. Maybe I had exhausted my lifetime supply of 'the ones'. In the restaurant's mirrors, I could see my hair graying, my crow's-feet crawling and the circles under my eyes darkening. I felt old.

I quickly got the bill, said a very hasty good night and decided to walk the three kilometres home. A blustery autumn storm whipped debris through the streets as I made my way toward home at midnight.

My mind wandered to a December night in the last year of my marriage. My wife was away in Europe on business. After a long day, I sat on the leather couch in my room, watching the rain fall, and played Bruce Springsteen's 'Valentine's Day' over and over again. Our relationship by then was irrevocably troubled, but that night I longed for nothing more than to have her back in my arms.

As I walked home, I realized I missed the missing, the feeling that to one human you mean more than the earth and the sky. I wasn't lusting after another conquest; no, it was a craving for an intimacy that comes only after you've told someone all your stupid self-promotional stories and she loves you anyway. It was for a woman who becomes more interesting the more you understand the lines on her face. For a woman who appreciates the man you are and roots for the man you could become.

About the Author

For more articles on sexual health subscribe to Sandra Prior's online newsletter at http://intercell.shacknet.nu.

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Are You Having Sexual Problems in Your Marriage? This Article May Help You... by Tony Darbyshire

2009-07-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

Are You Having Sexual Problems in Your Marriage? This Article May Help You... by Tony Darbyshire

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The first thing you should realize is that you're not alone if you're experiencing sexual problems in your marriage, or partnership. There are bound to be times when one partner is wanting to have sex more often than the other. Sometimes it's because one partner doesn't feel that the other person is giving enough time or attention to their sexual needs or desires.

Often the mismatch can be unrelated to the sex itself. How often have we felt unhappy, when some event happens in our lives, that throw us off balance. A good example is bereavement. When someone close to us dies it can affect many aspects of our day-to-day lives, and particularly on our desire to initiate sex. An upsetting event like bereavement can therefore have a profound effect on libido for many people.

There are so many examples, but I'm sure you can think of occasions when an 'external' factor has affected the way you feel about having sex, and these rarely have anything to with the love and friendship you feel for your partner. They can be to do with our jobs, our health, or our family. There are so many reasons for not wanting sex, and the list is very long.

So, what should you do?

First off, try not to feel bad about any mismatch that occurs. If you become upset and overly emotional it will usually end up making the problem worse, not better. Always do your very best to remain rational and stay calm. Try and look for the possible underlying causes that are creating the sexual problems. If it is an issue that is totally unrelated to the sex, then just be patient. Things will almost certainly improve as time passes, so just be tolerant and don't give up and get too frustrated. If matters don't improve, then that is the time to be asking the 'searching' questions; once you've come up with the questions, you can then begin to work on the answers needed for the problems you've found.

Secondly, if it does turn out to be an external factor that is causing the problem, or problems, what can you do about them? Many people feel that sex is such a huge part of their marital relationship that if things aren't right they think the best option is to separate, or get divorced. Nothing could be so far away from the truth. Some would say, whilst sex is really important in a marriage, problems can be resolved through good communication and discussion.

The simple fact is that when you've been married for a while, even if it's only a short period, the sex part can often begin to fade to dullness. This is especially so if one partner has a more vigorous libido than the other. Whilst some couples have a 'matching' sex drive, for many others there will be a mismatch and one partner often wants to initiate sex more frequently. There is no hard evidence that mismatches in libido happen more in men than in women, or vice versa.

The third point is that some sexual mismatches can reach the stage where one of you is no longer enjoying sexual contact. The possible outcome is that you only get involved to put off the arguments that could happen if you don't! You just need to both be aware that sexual mismatches can happen from time to time and be sensitive to each other's needs. It won't help either of you if you switch off, or refuse to participate, so look for solutions that can help you both.

If you are the one with the lower sex drive then perhaps you should take some time to work out why this is so. A reputable doctor should be able to give advice or, at least, refer you to someone who specializes in sexual health matters. And if you're the person with the higher sex drive then don't put pressure on your partner to have sex if they don't want to.

It's so much more effective to communicate and have a sensible adult discussion about the issues, than it is to 'force'. By force I don't mean physically force… that is totally unacceptable, even in marriage! What can be very damaging is the use of 'emotional' force, so do your best to avoid it.

If you look around there is lots of help for you in solving your sexual problems that are occurring in your marriage, or partnership. Whatever you do, don't put extra pressure on each other if mismatches are happening; try and talk calmly about them and communicate your feelings without being too emotional. Seek help if you need to. Then you should be able to get on your way to a healthy and satisfying sex life with your partner.

About the Author

If you're going through some sexual problems then don't give up, and definitely don't get angry or aggressive. Even the deepest of problems can be overcome if you remain patient. This is a site with some really good advice on lots of relationship issues and is well worth a visit => http://www.relationship-secrets.com so go and take a look to see if it can help you.

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How To Win Back Lost Love by Miesha

2009-07-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

How To Win Back Lost Love by Miesha

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If you've had a divorce, you're probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different. You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the divorce really isn't a bad idea.

If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you've done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop the divorce, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.

If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won't be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your divorce was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, "I forgive you," though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you haven't forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the marriage, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it's likely that hurtful things would be said.

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won't be any need to rehash the past. While you're working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the divorce, forgive them for the break up itself and you'll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the "you" that they've left. They were with you because you have certain qualities - kindness, thoughtfulness - not because you're angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.

About the Author

If you want to stop your divorce and save your marriage, and need the best guaranteed advice and methods, I can point you in the right direction! I know exactly what it's like to be on the verge of divorce, to be searching for solutions and only hitting dead ends. I will provide you with proven methods to stop your divorce and save your marriage!

Visit http://relationship-helper.blogspot.com

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Stop Your Divorce - 4 Easy Ways to Save Your Marriage by Sabrina Werles

2009-07-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

Stop Your Divorce - 4 Easy Ways to Save Your Marriage by Sabrina Werles

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How to stop your divorce - when you are always fighting, and your marriage seems to be falling apart, PLEASE don't think it has to end in divorce! There are ways to stop your divorce now!

If you are in a marriage where either you or your kids are abused, either emotionally, physically, or sexually, PLEASE Leave Immediately! If your partner threatens either you or your children's well-being if you go, please don't listen to them - they are hurting you already. That is NOT a marriage you should be in, and there are ways for you to get help.

With that being said, I am assuming that you are in a marriage that Has fallen on hard times - you and your Partner are Always Against with One another. Each day it gets worse. At one time, you were in love with one another. If not, you wouldn't have Been married To begin with! The first five years of marriage are the Toughest. Marriage is a Sizable Transformation for the both of you. You Must learn to live with each other, In Pleasant times and bad.

The following tips will help you get your marriage back To where it belongs, and will help you to make your marriage Healthier in the process.

#1: Interaction - I know you've heard it already, but you Have to to hear it again. Once you would like to know how to stop a divorce, you HAVE to discover how to Talk effectively with your Spouse. This is very difficult to start. I know it is. I've looked at my own spouse many times and wondered how I was going to have a discussion to him - I had no idea where to even start!

Once you discover how to talk, it really does get easier to do. You will discover that your marriage develops a bond like never before, too.

#2: Today's marriages are NOT like they were 50 years past! In the good old days, the husband went to employment, and the wife stayed back home and Cared for the dwelling and raised the kids. Those times were Easier, and we now don't get the luxury of that Now. These days, 8 out of 10 households need both spouses working. This reality, in itself, leads to marital Issues.

Married People Have to build a mutual respect for one another, which is often not the case. This involves both partners having a say in the finances, household purchases, utilities, and so on. You ought to both be able to say what you feel, and say it liberally. When you would like to discover how to stop a divorce, you should discover how to deal with one another reasonably!

#3: Be on the same team. As a married pair, you ought to have mutual goals. You ought to operate jointly to get to those goals. Of course, you are two Different folks, so you will additionally have other things in life that you want that are unique from your partner. But the major goals (whether to bear kids, whether to obtain a brand new Vehicle, whether to invest, and so on.) are the goals that you ought to operate jointly as a team for.

#4: Know that your marriage IS going to transform. Marriages ALL go through changes. You grow older, your wants and needs vary. This is a very natural part of any marriage. Partners tend to get separated once this happens, simply for the reason that they don't know what to do when the changes happen. Divorce is an easy way out in these cases. A strong marriage can live through everything! This leads back to the #1 tip - communication. When you both talk your opinion and feelings through these changes, you can work through them. Jointly.

As previously declared, each marriage has its issues. The marriages with good interaction and awareness to one another's feelings are the recipe to your victory in how to stop a divorce. It will take a little work, and probably a decent bit of time. But it's your marriage! You vowed before God to stay with your partner in pleasant times and bad, in illness and in wellbeing. Right?

About the Author

By following these straightforward steps, you will discover how to stop a divorce. This system comes highly recommended, and has been proven many times over. Don't let one rocky part ruin your marriage - there is just too much at stake! http://www.stopyourdivorce.info/save_your_marriage.htm

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What is covenant marriage?

2009-07-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

What is covenant marriage?

Covenant Marriage laws generally provide that a couple can choose, at the time of marriage or later, to have slightly more limited grounds for no-fault divorce in their marriage. The couple is required to get marriage education or counseling before their marriage (or the conversion of their marriage to a covenant marriage), and also before divorcing.

How do you get a covenant marriage?

Legal Covenant Marriages are currently available only in Arkansas, Arizona and Louisiana. (Legislation for them also has passed one house, but not both, in Oregon, Georgia, Texas and Oklahoma.) In most states you do not have to be a state resident to get married in the state, or to "upgrade" an existing marriage into a Covenant Marriage.

Non-Governmental Covenant Marriage: The concept of Covenant Marriage began mostly as a way of teaching people to renew and strengthen their marriages, not as legislation. The Covenant Marriage Movement offers marriage covenant documents, which are social, moral and spiritual contracts rather than legal ones. Dr. Bob Christensen's Covenant Marriages Ministry offers books and tapes on how to make your marriage a Covenant Marriage. People sometimes ask us if there are particular marriage vows that people use in covenant marriages. We do not know of wedding ceremonies being done any differently in covenant marriages, but there is a Covenant Marriage Vows Poem that you may find appropriate for your ceremony.

7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship by RWSTANK

2009-07-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship by RWSTANK

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Jim worked long hours and Sara doesn't feel he is there for her. Sara spends all of her time meeting the children's needs and Jim feels that Sara doesn't have time for his needs? Can this Relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here's how to save a Relationship. First, you must decide weather the Relationship is worth saving. While almost every Relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn't want to opt back in, there is little that can be done. Many people stay in a Relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a Relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the Relationship is worth saving. Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a Relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a Relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problems itself. For instances, many people think an affair is a problem that causes the break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary Relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem {for instance pornography} could pop up because you haven't dealt with the core issue. When you start to deal with core issues rather then symptons, you can save the Relationship. One you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feeling and listening to your partner's concerns. Hold your partner's hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you, rather it is because they want to improve the Relationship. Once you have detailed the problem in your Relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don't spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns comming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem. commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another, and, do it. Finally, you should realize that saving a Relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. Is your Relationship worth saving? If so, I've described in this article how to save a Relationship. To learn more on just what to do in a breakup, Click here on The Magic of Making Up.

About the Author

If you have 2 people {no matter what kind of Relationship it is} who are Committed to Loving each other, Communicating their thoughts, fears and desires, and willing to Compromise their position on something to make the other happy, that Relationship can get through anything that comes its way. Click here on the best way to handle a breakup.

love and marriage,marriage,save marriage,saving marriage

2009-07-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

How to Make Your Marriage Last

By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com Guides to Marriage

Every marriage needs help now and then, both during the good times and when things become difficult. Here are issues that impact marriages and skills to help you deal with those issues and problems in healthy ways. Remember that most problems have solutions. Don't ignore the problems and issues in your marriage. If your marriage is in trouble, get started and make the necessary changes together that will help your marriage be a successful, long lasting union.

Create a Long Lasting Marriage

What helps keep your marriage successful and long-lasting? Long lasting marriages have characteristics and qualities that enable the couples to weather through both the good times and the bad times as they journey together on the highway of life. It helps to have a flexible attitude towards your marriage, a willingness to create a balance in the time you spend together and apart, and an openness to change.

Increase Your Communication Skills

To have a successful marriage you must learn how to communicate effectively with one another. This includes listening both with your head and with your heart.

Repair and Save Your Marriage

If your marriage is in trouble, don't throw in the towel too quickly. Here are ways to repair and save your marriage.

Interracial and Interfaith Marriages

If you are in an interfaith, interracial, or intercultural marriage, the two of you have a few more challenges to face than couples of the same faith, race, or culture. Your differences in these marriages may create problems, but usually these problems can be lessened by being honest with one another about the issues.

In-Law Basics

Your in-laws can be a tremendous source of support and closeness for the two of you and they can also be a major problem in your marriage relationship. Here are some tips to help you bond with and cope with your in-laws.

Grow Old Together

Being an empty nest couple is the beginning of a whole new marriage experience. Now you have the time to be alone together and do things you want to do, but health issues may surface. It is natural to worry when you see that your spouse isn't feeling well or has obvious medical problems. Here are tips to help when it is just the two of you again.

Confront Problems in Your Marriage

Do you recognize red flags and warning signs of problems in your marriage? Do you let issues like finances and household chores create a wedge between you and your spouse? You must confront problems in your marriage and not hide your heads in the sand.

Guides since 1997

Sheri & Bob Stritof

Don't Forget the Wedding Favors by JoAnna Sanchez

2009-07-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

Don't Forget the Wedding Favors by JoAnna Sanchez

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Discover the Secret to a Happy Marriage

The whole day has been planned down to the smallest detail, from finding the perfect wedding dress, to having the invitations sent out in time, to organizing the luncheon and seating chart. The band is lined up and ready to perform, the marriage forms are all filled out and the groom has his tuxedo. What could be missing? Don't forget the wedding favors!

Giving wedding favors is a time honored tradition and way for newly married bride and groom to express their thanks to their family and friends for the support and assistance rendered. Giving a simple favor is nice to let guests that may have traveled great distances to congratulate the couple, know that them being there is appreciated. It also allows guests to remember all the great details that went into all the planning when they see their wedding favor. Don't forget the wedding favors in all the hustle and bustle of wedding planning.

Often times a budget controls a large portion of the planning and wedding favors are over looked or left out. Wedding favors don't need to be extravagant or expensive. A simple favor that reflects your personality along with a special meaning can serve as a token of your appreciation that will be remembered for a long time after the ceremony is over.

There aren't any hard and fast rules relating to wedding favor gift giving. There is a specific purpose to giving favors out to your guests and that is to make the night special for everyone involved and giving them a small token to take a piece of the moment home with them. Some basic guidelines may include keeping within your budget while giving something memorable. Meaningless, disposable items that break the budget may just end up in the trash.

Wedding favors do not need to be large or extravagant. Guests do not need to take home 50-page scrapbooks that commemorate the event nor do they need whole bouquets of flowers. Generally a small simple favor is best and preferred. A simple meaningful gift will encourage guests to take their favor home and they may even display it for a short time.

If planned well, wedding favors can also serve as decorations for the reception. Nothing will make a better centerpiece than a nice crystal vase embossed with the couple's names, or a tastefully framed picture of the happy couple.

Some of the most unique and popular items that guests receive as wedding favors include, glass or bamboo coasters, personalized photo frames, silk hand fans, mint tins, glass gel candles, hand painted ceramic magnets, or salt and pepper shakers. There really are endless possibilities when selecting wedding favors that can be elegant, memorable and affordable.

These favors may not play such an integral part as the reception center or the wedding dress, but they can help make the special occasion a memorable experience for all parties involved. Make sure to include wedding favors in your budget and you are bound to have an unforgettable day.

About the Author

Few individuals and couples know about or purchase wedding favors for their wedding reception guests and visitors. Wedding favors are a traditional way to express your appreciation to your guests who have supported you in your wedding and marriage.

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Relationships:How to get a boyfriend ,how to get a guy,how to get a man,how to get the man you want

2009-07-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

3 Killer Tips for Saving Your Marriage by Kevin Pasco

2009-07-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

3 Killer Tips for Saving Your Marriage by Kevin Pasco

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Is your matrimony on the rocks? Are things getting too tough? Are you in view of a divorce? Do you wish for to save your matrimony these days? If you are willing to try and set forth an truthful effort, so therefore you control get nearer to the exact place. To save matrimony these days is veto altered than it was fifty years since, so many theories operate way back to even your parentsâ€™ day of the week.

Save Marriage Today Tip #1: How is your gender life? If itâ€™s not lovely, with the purpose of is a gigantic catch. Many epoch if a person in a matrimony is not pleased sexually, they will bend to infidelity to make happy their natural physical instincts. Since we all know, infidelity can have an advantage to a divorce, which you perceptibly wish for to duck. So what time it comes to gender, try contemporary things. Different positions can jazz things up. Making love in the oppressive tub, as an alternative of the bedroom can excite even the the majority unsatisfied pair. Even dress up can provoke a trigger in a matrimony with the purpose of you possibly will control idea was long deceased.

Save Marriage Today Tip #2: Keep your family unit not at home of your problem. There is nothing worse than a tend in law who constantly criticizes a other half or a cousin who is willing to toss down fisticuffs in support of a misspoken word. This possibly will be especially challenging if they family member lives with you (or if you live with them) but you be obliged to learn ways around this. Make it translucent to extended family unit with the purpose of they are to stay not at home of your not public life, since they possibly will really promote to things worse. If they figure out not understand this, either take out sour ties with these group until the matrimony conflict is resolved or move not at home (or ask them to move out). It would blow you to see to it that how group react what time you con counter to them.

Save Marriage Today Tip #3: Seek expert help. A matrimony counselor can figure out wonders in support of a pair with the purpose of are in effort of trailing control. With the up to date heave in divorce rate, many counselors are well taught in the art of portion group stay concurrently and resolving their differences. The biggest step in support of therapy is getting both partners to admit they control a catch and getting both partners to reach agreement with the purpose of they will persuade help in support of their catch.

Save Marriage Today Tip #4: Make certainly the children are not involved in the arguments. The children did not cause your matrimony to be on the rocks. Do not blame them in support of it. Do not argue in front of them. Do not persuade them to bend on the other close relative. This will simply have an advantage them to grow up and place fingers next to you.

When roughly translated, you can save your matrimony, but it will take piece. Save matrimony these days tips can simply operate so far. You be obliged to con on them, and maybe even create your own after your matrimony disputes are resolved. Remember with the purpose of not all matrimony is achieve and they shouldnâ€™t be. But with the purpose of doesnâ€™t mean you shouldnâ€™t try.

About the Author

Learn how to save your marriage! Your marriage doesn't need to collapse. Learn the secret tips and tricks that can get your spouse back in your arms and there to STAY.

Check out http://kevinpasco.com/save-the-marriage and save your marriage today.

How to Save a Bad Relationship - 3 Questions to Ask by Will Scott

2009-07-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

How to Save a Bad Relationship - 3 Questions to Ask by Will Scott

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Questions to Ask Ten Most Important Questions to Discuss Most Widely Used Premarital Inventories

At times when things are not going well with you and your partner you may be asking how to save a bad relationship. It may even be your marriage you are struggling with.

When we speak of a bad relationship, there are varying degrees of bad.

First, and I hope this not the case, is physical abuse. This might be a matter of having to get out in order to protect yourself.
Bad can also mean way too much arguing and yelling. This is not a fun way to live.
Or, simply not enjoying each others company like you used to and afraid the relationship is taking a bad turn.

In either of the last two cases we want to try to see what is lying at the root of the issue. Since you are asking how to save a bad relationship then I will presume that at least one of you sees the potential of healing the relationship or marriage.

Here are a few simple questions to ask yourself as a start to saving the relationship:

What things first attracted you to each other and are those still present?
What activities did you enjoy doing together that really formed a bond between you?
What made each of you special to the other in a way no one else did?

When you two first met and were attracted to each other, did you look and act differently than you do now? Most people put on their best look and best behavior when single and unattached.

Some of us, however, tend to get lazy and let ourselves go when we are comfortably hooked up with one particular person. This actually shows disrespect and ingratitude for our partner. Apply the same thought pattern to behavior.

Wanting to know how to save a bad relationship can really begin by going back to the start and showing the respect and attention to your partner that you originally did.

Let's talk for a minute about activities. This is a no brainer. We all know that when we first meet someone that dating and fun things is all we do. Later, the mundane in life, the lack of money to just date all the time and even work interfere with doing the things we used to do.

With a little creativity, though, you can schedule in some time to do things that bring back the excitement and joy of the early dating process. Making use of public parks and other free attractions can help limit the cost.

Perhaps just schedule time to always watch one particular TV program that you both enjoy together. Popping popcorn is optional. Simple steps can be the easiest steps in how to save a bad relationship.

And finally, what was it about your partner that made you stop thinking about everyone else? Maybe you should ask him or her what it was about you that really said you were the one. If you can get an answer either on your own or by asking, then be that person.

While you are being the person your mate wanted over any other, he or she may find themselves returning to the person they were that you just could not do without.

There are so many more things to discuss that just do not fit in this short article. You can find more help on how to save a bad relationship by reading the material and watching the videos on our website.

The address is http://www.RelationshipAdviceHelp.com. Saving relationships is our specialty and we would love to help save yours.

About the Author

Stop suffering through a bad relationship when help is available at http://www.RelationshipAdviceHelp.com. The material and videos can get you on the road to a happier life.

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Passion In Marriage:

2009-07-18T09:44:00.000-07:00

Passion In Marriage:
7 Questions And Answers

by Dr. Michael Tobin

I.
Question: What are the key forces that impact passion in a marriage?

Answer: In my experience, the major variables affecting marital passion are a sense of wonder and newness, coupled with a strong desire to please the other. One of the reasons that a new relationship or an affair is often so exciting, is that the couple wants to bring pleasure to each another which stimulates creativity and excitement.

The challenge in marriage is to keep the relationship fresh. A phenomenon that we marital therapists see more and more is the marital brother/sister relationship. A couple falls into a comfortable pattern in which their sexual relationship begins to take a back seat. In marriage, you have to ignite passion. It doesn't keep burning on a low flame. A couple needs to make their sexual relationship a high priority. For the busy two career couple, it may mean scheduling time for their sexual relationship. When it comes to sexual relationships we often operate on the misconception that passion is something that just naturally happens. It's not so. Good sex, like career success, demands commitment, creativity and practice. Too many of us will settle for a less than satisfying sexual relationship or find quick solutions like an affair to break the monotony.

II.
Question: Does the length of the relationship matter?

Answer: The longer the relationship the greater the risk the couple will slip into bad habits. Too many men forget how to romance their wives. A man who treats his wife like a girlfriend is a man who will have a lover for a wife. Passion is not a given. It has to be cultivated and nurtured. It takes skill and knowledge. To develop that skill a couple needs to make the commitment to learn from one another and to discover what is pleasurable. A back rub for one woman may be more sexually satisfying than direct genital stimulation.

During the courting stage of a relationship the focus is on one another. This is enormously satisfying. Who doesn't want such attention? However, once the relationship becomes institutionalized, attention too often shifts to competing interests like friends, work, hobbies and children. It then becomes a major challenge to keep the marriage alive.

III.
Question: Is passion in marriage influenced by whether or not you have kids?

Answer: Children can be a cause of reduced passion in marriage. Often the husband feels his wife's affection shifting from him to the children. He now has to share center stage with a screaming baby who before-you-know-it becomes a demanding teenager. Kids can wear you out (I know. I have four of them) and nothing kills passion like exhaustion.

I often recommend that couples take time out from parenting and pay attention to the marriage. A weekend away from the kids can do wonders for the marriage and will most likely improve their ability to parent.

THE GREATEST GIFT WE CAN GIVE OUR CHILDREN IS A HAPPY MARRIAGE. It's as important to work on creating a loving, passionate marriage as it is to learn new parenting techniques.

IV.
Question: Is the passion between a couple affected by their stress level at home or at work?

Answer: Most definitely. Whether the stress is external, i.e., work related, or internal, i.e., marital or parental, it will definitely affect marital passion.

Let's face it. By the time most of us have put the kids to bed, cleaned the kitchen, paid the bills, returned the phone calls and watered the plants, the only thing we feel passionate about is sleep. At best, we engage in obligatory, unsatisfactory sexual contact. More likely, nothing at all - a rather gloomy picture of marital life.

So what's the answer?

Try a bit of common sense, a healthy dose of understanding and a genuine desire to give.

First, it's important for both partners to have reasonable expectations. You can't ignite passion with a flick of a switch, and passion rarely accompanies each and every sexual encounter. Marital passion doesn't burst forth on demand. It doesn't come because you want it. It's what happens when there is a genuine desire to give to one another.

PEOPLE WHO FEEL LOVED RESPOND WITH LOVE. One who is willing to give his or her more exhausted or stressed out partner a massage or some other form of loving, non-sexual contact will be storing up passion points for that quiet Sunday morning when the kids are gone, the dishes are done and the pressure is off.

In a truly loving marriage there are many days of exhaustion sandwiched between moments of genuine intimacy and passion. Those moments of passion are the result of the understanding, commitment and warmth that sustain a loving couple through the demanding obligations of a shared life.

So if you are looking for genuine passion in your marriage, you won't find it in a sex manual. It's the gift that comes from real love. It's the interest you earn from giving. Focus on being other-centered and your marriage will be a lifetime love affair.

V.
Question: To what extent do personality and one’s innate affection level affect passion in marriage?

Answer: I hold by the adage that good lovers, like good leaders, are made-- not born. I doubt we can all reach the skill and passion of a Don Juan De Marco unless of course we, like Don Juan, devote our whole life to pursuing the ultimate sexual experience. Nevertheless, we can create passion. Success in bed is achieved as a result of an open mind, a willingness to learn, a loving feeling toward your partner and a desire to give.

I want to say more about the desire to give. Learning to be other centered is, in my opinion, one of the most significant factors in creating a successful marriage - in bed or out. Too often, we focus only on our needs, our desires and our pleasure and forget about the other.

If we could turn the focus of our attention from ourselves to our partner, our relationship, in general, and our sexual relationship, in particular, would vastly improve.

VI.
Question: Is it a given that passion declines over time?

Answer: It's not a given, but it often happens. Of course, there are physical factors to contend with. A 60-year-old doesn't have the stamina of a 20-year-old. However, a wise 60-year-old can compensate for his or her decreased energy with experience. The most powerful sexual organ is the head, not the genitals. A smart and loving mind can fire up an old body. I know a number of elderly folks who have a twinkle in their eye for more than just their grandchildren.

It is important to understand that passion is not merely explosive sexual fireworks. It is also the sexual warmth that is generated by a couple who have learned how to love. Their passion emerges within an atmosphere of understanding, acceptance and respect. The most important way to maintain lifelong sexual satisfaction is to constantly work on improving marital communication. Learning how to listen, to accept and to forgive are essential qualities in maintaining a passionate marriage.

VII.
Question: Is there anything we can do to increase the passion during those times when it seems to take a nose-dive?

Answer: Recognizing that passion has taken a downward turn is the first step toward correcting it. A couple that is committed to maintaining a quality relationship will monitor it carefully. They will discuss their declining passion and will seek ways to restore aliveness and pleasure. This is a marriage that is in a constant state of creation.

I am fond of telling people that love is a verb not a noun. Love doesn't just happen. You don't "trip" into love and you don't "fall" into love. Real love and passion is something that two people must work at together.

A good sexual relationship is nothing more than good communication. To communicate, first and foremost, you need to know how to listen. To listen you have to get out of your own way. You need to empty your head of your arguments, preconceived notions, expectations and opinions and then be open with your entire being to what the other is communicating.

No small task.

Good sex is a function of learning how to listen. Many of us carry a great deal of baggage into our bedrooms. That baggage might be parental or religious do's and don'ts or some image based on grade Z movies about how a great lover is supposed to perform. While he is worrying about duplicating the sexual gymnastics of some mythical Hollywood lover, she is feeling abandoned.

Both men and women need to let go of trying to prove themselves to one another and learn to satisfy one another. When they achieve that goal, their reward will be a passionate and loving relationship.

Unexpected Gift Giving in Your Marriage

2009-07-18T08:38:00.000-07:00

Unexpected Gift Giving in Your Marriage

Show Appreciation

By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com

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One of the ways many spouses feel appreciated is when they receive a gift.

To make sure your spouse feels valued, don't wait until a birthday, holiday, or anniversary to give a gift. Your marriage license is not a permit to quit showing your appreciation and love to your spouse.

Give unexpected gifts throughout the year as a way of saying thank you to your mate.

Remember to say "thank you" either in person when you give the gift or in a note attached to the gift.
Let your spouse know what you are saying "thank you" for. Taking the time to express the reason for your gratitude may be as meaningful to your spouse as the gift itself.

More Marriage Quick Tips

How to Know If You are Marrying the Right Person

2009-07-17T08:53:00.000-07:00

How to Know If You are Marrying the Right Person

Don't Enter Marriage Thinking That All You Need is Love

By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com

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How to Marry the Right Person

Finding Miss or Mr. Right is not always an easy thing to do. Once you think you've found the right person, you may have doubts. Having doubts about who you are marrying is not only normal, having doubts is healthy.

Hopefully you already know that you shouldn't marry someone who drinks too much, spends too much, works too much, brags too much, uses drugs or other illegal behavior, or is unfaithful, cruel, or dishonest.

If your future spouse is free of those destructive behaviors and you are still having doubts about getting married, read through these statements. You will see if your doubts are reasonable and worth paying attention to or if you are having cold feet about getting married without having any rational reasons.

Happiness and Emotional Support

Although expecting a spouse to make you feel happy all the time is unreasonable, being with the right person can bring happiness and a sense of personal strength to your life.

You will know you are marrying the right person when you feel support and encouragement about your own growth both emotionally and intellectually. The right person will want you to be emotionally healthy and able to stand on your own two feet. When you are with the right person you will feel good about yourself, safe, and fulfilled.
Related: Being a Supportive Spouse

The right person will not be negative, selfish, wishy washy, silent, embarrassing, critical, or a slob. Why spend your life with a jerk?
Related: Difficult People | Negativity in Your Relationship

Affection, Love, and Sex

It is important that the person you marry is someone who is understanding and agreeable to your wants and needs when it comes to sex and affection.

You will know you are marrying the right person if your future spouse says "I love you" not only in words spoken, but by loving actions. We define loving actions as doing things such as noticing when you are tired, remembering your birthday, wanting to spend time with you, listening to you, showing you respect, calling if you are running late, showing you affection, being patient with you if you don't understand something, kissing you hello and goodbye, and hugging you for no special reason.
Related: The Five Love Languages | Say I Love You | Where to Leave Love Notes

You will know you are marrying the right person if you are sexually compatible with one another. If the two of you view sexual intimacy differently or have different libidos, your marriage relationship will suffer.
Related: Sex in Marriage

The right person is someone who you like and who is your friend. The right person will enjoy spending time with you.Your love and your marriage will slowly fade if the two of you are not friends.
Related: Being Friends as Well as Lovers

The right person is kind, considerate, and polite. Little things in life such as saying 'thank you' and holding a door open may seem old fashioned, but they do reflect the amount of caring and kindness in a person.
Related: Kindness

Communication, Goals, and Values

You and the right person will have similar goals and values in life.

Having different likes and different opinions is okay as long as the two of you agree to disagree. Although you may not always agree with one another, conversations with the right person will be interesting and not boring. The right person will communicate thoughts and feelings with you and will not keep hurts and concerns bottled up inside.
Related: Communication Skills | Sharing Your Feelings

Understanding that the only constant in life is change, the right person is willing to discuss marriage issues, questions, and topics with you both before and after you get married.
Related: Questions for Engaged Couples | Ten Most Important Questions to Discuss

The right person will encourage you to make decisions to live a healthy lifestyle by eating healthier foods and getting exercise. The right person will want to work with you to balance your work and personal lives.
Related: Workaholism | Walking Together

Feeling as if you are the only one picking things up around the house or taking care of the kids can get old. The right person is willing to share in the responsibilities of your home and future children.
Related: Dividing Household Chores

Finding the right person doesn't mean that the two of you won't have difficulties or differences to deal with. However, with the right person you will know that the two of you will be able to work through the issues that could hurt your relationship. The way you handle disagreements and conflict shows psychologists more than what you fight about.
Related: Being Different | Handling Conflict in Your Marriage

Trust and Honesty

The right person is honest with you.

The right person will trust you and not monitor your phone calls, or computer usage, or limit the amount of time you spend with others you care about. You will know you are marrying the right person if your future spouse does not try to isolate you from your family and friends. You not only need to belong to family, friends, groups, etc., you have the right to do so. The right person in your life will not try to control your life but will want to share a life with you. The wrong person will make you feel as if you have to walk on egg shells in order to keep peace in your home.
Related: How to Know if You Are Abusive | How to Know if You Are Being Abused | Teasing Guidelines

You shouldn't have to defend wanting privacy or time alone. You will know you are marrying the right person when you are not questioned about your need for time alone or personal space.
Related: Time Alone

The right person will trust you and not spy on you. Feeling as if you have to justify your every move will become a very heavy burden.
Related: Trust Issues

Red Flags in Your Relationship

If you realize that there are red flags or problematic issues in your relationship, don't ignore them or delude yourself into thinking that the red flags aren't that important or that someone you love will change. It does take more than love to have a successful marriage.
Related: Red Flags in a Marriage

Before You Marry

History of Marriage

2009-07-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

History of Marriage

How Marriage Has Evolved

Most ancient societies needed a secure environment for the perpetuation of the species,a system of rules to handle the granting of property rights, and the protection of bloodlines. The institution of marriage handled these needs. For instance, ancient Hebrew law required a man to become the husband of a deceased brother's widow.

Some varieties of marriage are

Different periods of time and different cultures have very different histories when it comes to women. Ancient Egypt, in theory, gave women equal rights, but it wasn't always practiced. Medieval women faced dual responsibilities to religion and marriage.

Throughout history, and even today, families arranged marriages for couples. The people involved didn't and don't have much to say about the decision. Most couples didn't marry because they were in love but for economic liasons.

Some marriages were by proxy, some involved a dowry (bride's family giving money or presents to the groom or his family), some required a bride price (the groom or his family giving money or a present to the bride's family), few had any sort of courtship or dating, but most had traditions.

One nearly universal tradition is that of the engagement ring. This custom can be dated back to the ancient Romans. It is believed that the roundness of the ring represents eternity. Therefore, the wearing of wedding rings symbolizes a union that is to last forever. It was once thought that a vein or nerve ran directly from the "ring" finger of the left hand to the heart.

The notion of marriage as a sacrament and not just a contract can be traced St. Paul who compared the relationship of a husband and wife to that of Christ and his church (Eph. v, 23-32).

Joseph Campbell, in the Power of Myth, mentions that the Twelfth century troubadours were the first ones who thought of courtly love in the same way we do now. The whole notion of romance apparently didn't exist until medieval times, and the troubadours.

The statement of Pope Nicholas I in which he declared in 866, "If the consent be lacking in a marriage, all other celebrations, even should the union be consummated, are rendered void", shows the importance of a couple's consent to marriage. It has remained an important part of church teaching through the years.

There appeared to be many marriages taking place without witness or ceremony in the 1500's. The Council of Trent was so disturbed by this, that they decreed in 1563 that marriages should be celebrated in the presence of a priest and at least two witnesses. Marriage took on a new role of saving men and women from being sinful, and of procreation. Love wasn't a necessary ingredient for marriage during this era.

Years later, the Puritans viewed marriage as a very blessed relationship that gave marital partners an opportunity to not only love, but also to forgive.

Many people hold the view that regardless of how people enter into matrimony, marriage is a bond between two people that involves responsibility and legalities, as well as commitment and challenge. That concept of marriage hasn't changed through the ages.

Top 10 Things Wives Want From Their Husbands

2009-07-15T08:29:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Things Wives Want From Their Husbands

What Women Want From Marriage

By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com

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In no particular order, here are ten things that many wives want from their husbands.

Note that these are "wants" -- not emotional needs. As individuals, we are each responsible for filling our own emotional needs.

We believe that the four basic emotional needs are the need to be loved and to love; the need to belong; the need for a good self-image; and the need for autonomy.

Related: What Husbands Want

1. Telling Her Daily That She is Loved

Everyone wants to be affirmed. Everyone wants to know they are loved. The best ways to say "I love you" are usually in simple, everyday, seemingly unimportant ways like an unexpected hug or holding hands when you walk together.

2. Understanding and Forgiveness

There will be days when your wife will make mistakes or when she will be difficult to be around. No one is perfect. She both wants and deserves your willingness to understand and forgive her. Remember that no relationship can be sustained without forgiveness.

3. Conversation

Don't let your conversations with your wife dwindle to nothing but talk about your kids, your jobs, and the weather. If that happens, your marriage relationship could be in real trouble.

4. Willingness to Make Time for Her and Your Children

Having quality time with your wife and kids isn't something that just happens. You have to make it happen by not only making the plans but by following through. Time with those you love has to be a high priority for you.

5. Saying "Yes" More Than Saying "No"

Habitual negative responses to your wife and kids can push them away from you. Think twice before saying "no" and you will be surprised at how saying "yes" can improve your relationships.

6. Listening Well

It's really disheartening for a wife to share her thoughts and feelings with her mate and then realize that he didn't actually listen to her. Your wife wants you to not only listen with your ears, but to listen with your heart.

7. Affection and Kindness

How often do you say "please" or "thank you" or give your spouse an unexpected kiss? Unfortunately, some married couples forget that being kind and affectionate to one another are keys to a successful marriage.

8. Sharing Household and Child Rearing Responsibilities.

One of the main reasons couples fight is conflict over who is doing what around the house. Chores and child care are not the sole responsibility of your wife. She shouldn't have to ask you to do your share around the house.

9. A Day Off Now and Then

Don't fuss about your wife taking a day off several times a month. This means that she will be free from worrying about what is happening with the kids, the house, the pets, and you. She deserves this break in her schedule and she needs to provide it for herself to be emotionally and physically healthy.

10. Commitment to Take Care of Yourself Both Physically and Emotionally

Many men are notorious for not taking care of themselves when it comes to health issues. This isn't fair to your wife. She is your lover not your mother. Take responsibility for your own health concerns.

Marriage conversations silence

2009-07-14T08:22:00.000-07:00

Marriage conversations silence

Communication between partners as a marriage is breaking down can be varied. The type of communication that gets the most obvious attention is anger and fighting. Fighting, arguing and general viciousness to one another are some of most common talking points on marriage discussion forums and boards. Its easy to give the loudness and most obvious sign of trouble all of the attention. After all, its very noticeable, obviously hurtful to everyone around and inevitably an easy target for discussion. It isn’t, however, the most common breakdown in communication.

Communication Breakdowns

For many couples, there is very little, if any, of the anger and fighting that is a hallmark of a relationship in trouble. Instead, that highly visible issue is dwarfed by the deafening silence of a lack of any communication at all. A couple who fights is still relating to one another, albeit badly and negatively, but a couple who spend their everyday lives without acknowledging the other is avoiding any relation at all.

In order to break the cycle of living with a ghost, you first have to get your partner’s attention. If you’ve been trying to get your spouse’s attention the same way that you’ve been trying to, unsuccessfully, for so long then it’s time to change things up. Try sending your partner notes or letters, emails or voicemails. Don’t try to start a conversation during moments where there are enough distractions to help them continue to tune you out such as in front of the TV.

Look for inventive ways to get your partner’s attention and get relating again.

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Qualities of a Successful Marriage

2009-07-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to another enriching article.We trust this will be another blessing to you all,our loyal readers.Will you please email us for free e-books,rock counsellings and best of advices to maritalman@gmail.com {WE RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY}

Qualities of a Successful Marriage
# Love
# Support
# Tolerance
# Communication
# Realistic expectations
# Caring
# Nurturing
# Sense of humor
# Commitment
# Respect
# Know how to handle conflict

Stages of Long Term Relationships

2009-07-12T08:01:00.000-07:00

Stages of Long Term Relationships

If you approach these stages as a map then your understanding of them will serve you as a guide to traversing the sometimes difficult terrain of a lifelong committed relationship.

The Five Basic Stages of Long Term Relationships

The Romance, or Honeymoon Stage
The Reality Stage
The Childrearing Stage
The Accommodation Stage
The Success, or Transformation Stage

Here is a brief description of the Romance Stage

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Top 10 Things Wives Want From Their Husbands

2009-07-11T08:27:00.000-07:00

Top 10 Things Wives Want From Their Husbands

What Women Want From Marriage

By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com

See More About:

In no particular order, here are ten things that many wives want from their husbands.

Note that these are "wants" -- not emotional needs. As individuals, we are each responsible for filling our own emotional needs.

We believe that the four basic emotional needs are the need to be loved and to love; the need to belong; the need for a good self-image; and the need for autonomy.

Related: What Husbands Want

1. Telling Her Daily That She is Loved

2. Understanding and Forgiveness

3. Conversation

Don't let your conversations with your wife dwindle to nothing but talk about your kids, your jobs, and the weather. If that happens, your marriage relationship could be in real trouble.

4. Willingness to Make Time for Her and Your Children

5. Saying "Yes" More Than Saying "No"

Habitual negative responses to your wife and kids can push them away from you. Think twice before saying "no" and you will be surprised at how saying "yes" can improve your relationships.

The solution to marital problems.

2009-07-11T07:49:00.001-07:00

The Most Important

Thing in a Marriage

What is the most important thing in a marriage relationship? Communication? The ability to resolve conflict?

Actually, neither.

While communication is important, just as is resolving conflict, experience with thousands of couples taught me that the most important thing in a marriage is respect. That means giving esteem and honor as well as demonstrating regard and consideration to each other. Most of the couples we see in our workshop for marriages in crisis, (LovePath 911), offer little or no respect to each other (or at least one to the other). Healthy, happy couples, however, do. Much of our phenomenal success in saving marriages given up on by everyone else is due to our helping couples learn and put into practice this crucial truth.

So how does one respect another person, and communicate that respect in an effective manner?

It all has to do with acceptance. People tend to paint a picture that they believe others wish to see. You may paint one picture at work, another at home, and still another at church. You paint those pictures because you want others to accept you. However, like the rest of us, it is likely that what you really want – deep in your heart – is to be loved for the person you are rather than the picture you paint. God knows that about human beings and made a point of telling us that He loves us “while we were yet sinners.” (Rom 5:8)

Though you realize that no human can love as unconditionally as God, it’s extremely likely that deep within you you crave a mate with whom you can be your true self. The person who will know all your flaws, strengths, sins, and virtues, yet accepts and loves you anyway – even if he or she does not accept certain of your behaviors. Yet, when you fall in love, your beloved becomes the most frightening person to show yourself to openly. What if your mate rejects you after you bare your soul? There is no way to take it back, to pretend you did not share what you shared. Therefore, you, as do so many others, probably hide at least part of your true self from the one you love.

So how does a marriage grow to a level where each can love the other as the person instead of the picture they want that person to be? To have the deepest love possible with your spouse, you must learn to accept yourself as you are and your companion as he or she is.

Allow me to share one of the most important things I have learned in life: “The most crucial dimension for falling in love is acceptance. I will not love a person that I do not accept, even if that person is me.”

Jesus said it this way, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” It is a basic concept of life; if you do not love yourself properly, you will not love others well. The secret to falling in love and staying in love is to accept the imperfections and flaws that you have, even if you can do something about them. I call it satisfied dissatisfaction. Does it sound ridiculous, like some kind of double speak? Actually, it is based on a quote by the famous psychologist Carl Rogers, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change…we cannot change, we cannot move away from what we are, until we thoroughly accept what we are. Then change seems to come almost unnoticed.” When you learn to love yourself, flaws and all, you then can learn to deeply love another as they are, not as the picture you wish them to be.

That, of course, leads to a very important question: What do you do if you are hurt by or do not like what your spouse tells you about him- or herself? Accept that his or her actions or feelings as true – even if that hurts – and from that acceptance grow into a deeper, more loving relationship. How? The key is found in this quote from Carl Rogers, “When we accept others as they are, they change.” It again is satisfied dissatisfaction. Accept the person as he or she is – with all imperfections and flaws – and you will witness that person change for the better. Note that does not mean that you must accept all his/her behaviors (abuse, immorality, etc.) If you wish to see this type love demonstrated well, read the Gospels again and note how Jesus changed sinners by first accepting who they really were and then loving them into the people they could be.

If you feel accepted as you are, you feel loved. If you feel accepted only if you paint a picture that you believe your spouse wants you to be, you will doubt the depth of his or her love.

When you accept your mate as he or she is, that person feels loved. If your spouse feels accepted by you only when they paint the picture that you wish them to paint, they will doubt the depth of your love.

Learn to accept yourself as you are so that you can learn to accept the one you love as he or she is. This is the most important dimension of love. There is great research indicating that couples work out even the most difficult of problems when they learn to accept each other as they are – tolerance without resentment.

How To Save a Failing Marriage: Tips You Need Now To Save Your Marriage

2009-07-10T13:00:00.000-07:00

How To Save a Failing Marriage: Tips You Need Now To Save Your Marriage

This article gives tips on how to save a failing marriage without losing your mind. You have to know what to do or else you could make your marriage worse without knowing.

Many times it is difficult to know how to save a failing marriage. You may have conflict going on where both of you want to be a right fighter. The truth is that this is not about who is right or who is wrong. This should be about love and support and moving your marriage in the right direction.

The methods that men and women use to deal with marital issues can be different. However, there are some simple tips that you can follow when you are trying to figure out how to save a failing marriage.

1. You have to admit there are issues?: Nothing is more irritating than for one spouse to make everything sound great and pretend you are happy Harry and Hilda Happy. If there are issues, you must admit them. Say what you are concerned about and tell your spouse that these issues have to be dealt with now.

2. Ask important questions: Ask your spouse what they see in YOU that needs to be improved. What habits do you have that may be causing arguments in your relationship? You must be open to listen and really hear what your spouse is saying. Do not argue with your spouse about their point of view, just listen and take it all in. Be willing to adjust your behavior to help the relationship.

3. Be willing to get outside assistance: This is a big one. A lot of spouses (men in particular) will avoid getting outside help at all costs. Outside help does not have to be in a shrink’s office talking to a stranger! After all, you are a husband and wife and should be able to work out most issues as a team. There are all sorts of resources online that can help you get your marriage back on track and save you from an upsetting, sad divorce.

Get all of the information you need on how to save a failing marriage right at this website: http://www.squidoo.com/howtosaveafailingmarriage.

By DeAnn Norton

Valentine’s Day Marriage Proposal Ideas

2009-07-09T12:57:00.000-07:00

Valentine’s Day Marriage Proposal Ideas

If you’re ready to propose to your sweetheart there is no better day than Valentine’s Day; this day is devoted to lovers and romance.

A Valentine’s Day proposal is every woman’s dream and will surely get you an enthusiastic "yes"! Here are some ideas to help you create a romantic Valentine’s Day proposal:

• Cook her a romantic dinner for two. Tie the engagement ring, using ribbon, to the stem of a glass of champagne or sparkling cider.

• Take her out for dinner at your favorite restaurant and arrange with the waiter to display the ring in a box as one of the choices on the dessert tray, or write "Will you marry me?" in chocolate sauce on the rim of her dessert plate. Remember to make your reservations early in the month because restaurants are very busy on this night and you will need the staff to help with your special arrangements.

• Rent a limousine. Propose to her in the limo on the way to or from your special evening. Be sure to bring champagne or sparkling cider to celebrate.

• Rent your favorite romantic movie. Make it special with homemade popcorn and her favorite movie treat. Tell her you want your own happy ending by proposing as the credits roll at the end.

• Give her three roses: Tell her one represents the past, one represents the present and the last one (with the ring tied to it) represents the future. It is estimated that 110 million roses will be sold for Valentine’s Day so be sure to order your roses early for the prettiest petals.

• Turn out all the lights in your apartment or home. Make a trail with candlelight leading her to your engagement ring.

• Send her on a treasure hunt. Provide clues all over town to your favorite spots or just around the house. The last hint should lead her to you, with the diamond engagement ring in hand.

• Create a special book filled with pictures of the two of you. On the last page include a photo of a bride and groom and paste pictures of your faces on the bride and groom with "Will You Marry Me?" written at the bottom.

• Buy 13 days worth of small gifts and wrap them individually. Number each package 1 though 13 and insert a note with each gift. The notes could be 13 reasons why you love her. Tell your sweetheart to start opening the packages on February 1 and on Valentines Day give her gift number 14 in person. Write "Will You Marry Me?" on the last note.

In order to make your Valentine’s Day proposal perfect present your sweetheart with a beautiful diamond engagement ring. And remember, no matter how you say it, your marriage proposal is going to be a special and memorable moment in your relationship.

Diamond Engagment Rings for Valetine's Day
Proposing on Valentine's Day? Choose the right engagment ring.

By Big Oak SEO

Top 6 Most Romantic Ways To Propose Marriage

2009-07-07T12:57:00.000-07:00

Top 6 Most Romantic Ways To Propose Marriage

There are so many creative ways to propose. We offer wedding proposal ideas, including unique proposal ideas.

Certainly, one of the first essential tasks of any groom-to-be is to determine a way to propose to his beloved. There are certainly any number of exciting, memorable ways to perform a proposal. Here are some of the most elegant, romantic methods to get your girl to say "yes":

Recreate your first date. This will bring back a flood of fond memories and will put her in the right mood for your proposal. Chances are she’ll also appreciate your thoughtfulness in trying to recreate that special experience.

Plan a surprise picnic. Consider taking your beloved to the woods or to a Southern California beach for a romantic picnic. At the picnic site, you might consider spelling out the words "Marry me" with stones or seashells.

Bring out the bubbly. During dinner, serve your girlfriend a glass of champagne with the engagement ring in the bottom of the glass. You’re then in a perfect position to toast your future together. It’s hard for a girl to pass up a ring when it comes in such elegant packaging. (One fun and elegant location to have the bubbly served is at an upscale Las Vegas hotel. The lights of the strip at night coupled with the glamour, fun and upscale service that can be found in Vegas, might just make the perfect backdrop.)

Pop the question in a cookie. Consider dining together at your favorite Chinese restaurant. Have the waiter serve her a fortune cookie with "Will you marry me?" hidden inside. It’s the type of dessert she’ll never forget.

The Christmas tree proposal. At Christmas, invite her over to your place to view your Christmas tree. Make sure that the tree is lighted, but has only a single decoration—an engagement ring. In all likelihood, her heart will melt once she sees her ring adorning your yuletide tree.

Spell out your proposal with style. Get her a "just because" gift. Purchase an elegant charm bracelet. Have the charms on it be letters that spell out your special request "M-A-R-R-Y M-E". Place the gift at her place setting during a special dinner.

Of course, there are numerous other ways you can propose—on board a plane, on an island, on a mountaintop, at the top of the Empire State Building, in the back of an SUV limousine in Las Vegas. How you ultimately propose will depend on a number of factors: your history together, your personal style, and her particular preferences. The most important thing is that the proposal comes from the heart. If it is truly sincere, chances are your intended will be totally captivated. In the end, it’s not the proposal itself, but the groom, that really matters.

Article by Michelle O’Connor, Limousine Service Los Angeles

By Michelle O'Connor

Marriage Proposal Ideas

2009-07-06T12:56:00.000-07:00

Marriage Proposal Ideas

Here are a few marriage proposal ideas to get your creative juices running. Remember that even if the engagement ring costs a lot the proposal doesn’t have to break the bank. Being romantic does not have to equate to spending a fortune.

1. The most popular and dramatic Marriage Proposal Idea is to ask her at a big sporting event. Two things that you need to be sure of before pulling off this risky maneuver is to make sure she is a sports fan, and that she will say yes. There is nothing worse than getting rejected in front of tens of thousands of people.
2. The Mile-High Marriage Proposal Idea. Ask for the stewardess’s help when getting on the plane to see if the pilot will make an announcement on you behalf. Drawbacks include having to sit next her for the duration of the flight is she says no. When trying this marriage proposal idea make sure that she does not see the engagement ring when you go through security.
3. The classic home movie night marriage proposal idea. Let her pick the video to watch and then when the movie starts go make popcorn and place the engagement ring in the bottom of the bowl.
4. The home movie night with a twist marriage proposal idea. Let her pick the movie and then switch the DVD when you put it in the player. The DVD you put in will be a special video that you made without her knowledge. The video is of your choosing but a classic is you holding the engagement ring on bended knee.
5. On her birthday find several boxes that can all fit inside each other. Wrap up the ring box and place it in the smallest box and wrap that as well. Continue until all the boxes are wrapped. When she's opening the gift and glaring at you for all the work she has to do, smile and tell her it's going to be worth it.
6. Puzzle Marriage Proposal Idea. Take a picture of yourself holding the engagement ring then blow up the picture and take it to the local photo shop. Have them make the picture into a puzzle, then give your special someone the puzzle. Tell her she has to finish the puzzle before you ask her in real life.

We hope these marriage proposal ideas have helped you get started. There are plenty more ideas to see at marriage proposal ideas. Just make sure it is day and an engagement ring that she will remember forever.

By dana h

Creative Marriage Proposal Ideas

2009-07-05T12:55:00.001-07:00

Creative Marriage Proposal Ideas

Here are some marriage proposal ideas that are little more creative than your average dinner out. when it comes to marriage proposal ideas creativity is better than luxury.