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Friday, July 31, 2009

Save Your Christian Marriage Review by Jessica Andrews

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Save Your Christian Marriage Review by Jessica Andrews


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Hardship in marriages appear despite the religion or race you fall upon. So finding the right guidance on how you're able to overcome your relationship problems can be tough.

Just as well there is an e-book out there entitled Save Your Christian Marriage which goes through many of the frequent problems Christian couples endure.

For a really great Save Your Christian Marriage Review, check out Save Your Christian Marriage by Lee H Baucom

According to this guide, other solutions are to be explored first before even considered getting divorced. Trying to avoid a divorce, is viewed as a negative use of your energy force, and instead couples is recommended to instead look at gearing up their positive energy and directing it to creating a relationship that will honor God.

Your spouse and you will need to exert a substantial amount of effort and be determined to work towards some personal change in order for this to be able to become a reality. Basing his approach on bible principles, the author has discarded traditional approaches usually utilized in marriage counseling which you will find elsewhere.

Starting with a common life direction with each other is suggested in Save Your Christian Marriage having a direct outline following shared goals. Though there isn't a heap of bible verse within Save Your Christian Marriage, it is more based on Christian marriage principles with some verse sprinkled within.

This guide is based more on mis-perceptions believed to be where crisises start. Instead of like most marriage counseling which typically focuses closely on improving communication skills. As referred to in biblical terms, what you should understand is that it is not just about yourself or your spouse but rather it needs to be a combined effort.

Having decided to make a commitment that together you plan on building the absolute best marriage humanly possible that's when a lot of the things which were at the start important to you, will eventually begin to seem less important.

After getting past the 'myself' and 'you' being separate beings and shifting towards the 'we', individual strengths prevail which you can use to compliment your partner. If you find that the both of you are always arguing, you will find that there are ways on how to bring back the serenity again.

Save Your Christian Marriage will reveal to you exactly how to put first what will most likely be better for your marriage and not what you personally wish for. Churches can also play a role in getting your relationship back on the right track again by sharing guidance and support.

I trust that you liked this article, I also have reviews of some great products that you might want take a look at here: Best Relationship Rescue Guides


About the Author

Jessica Andrews has been in a loving relationship for the past 2.5 years, thanks largely to the guides she has used and reviewed. She is now committed to ensuring that other couples reap the same benefits in which a healthy loving relationship can offer. Save Your Christian Marriage Review is just one of the many guides she has reviewed.




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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Can Your Relationship Survive an Affair? Should You Stay or Should You Go? by Sharon Rivkin

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Can Your Relationship Survive an Affair? Should You Stay or Should You Go? by Sharon Rivkin


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Few things put as much strain on a marriage as an affair. When we see affairs exposed in very public ways, played out in the news involving politicians, celebrities and athletes, we all cringe and say "that will never happen to me." In reality, it happens to a lot of couples, rich or poor, beautiful or not. Infidelity is an equal opportunity relationship buster.

Finding the Seed of the Affair

When couples struggling with an affair come to me, I tell them no matter what the circumstances, an affair never happens out of the blue. It's actually an extreme symptom of a relationship that's been in trouble for some time. I also tell them an affair is a powerful catalyst that can either end their relationship or take it to a greater level of intimacy.

Even an affair that seems starkly one-sided isn't. It always takes two to dance the dance of a relationship and to create unresolved issues. Though to some this may sound almost blasphemous, the truth is, every affair has two victims. When the issues come out in the open, the couple has a chance to stop the victim cycle, and each person can begin to take responsibility for their own wounds.

I've found the best way to get to the heart of a couple's issues, is to ask them about their first argument as a couple. Usually, there's stunned silence and puzzled looks. For them, the affair is the only relevant issue. It's as though a fire has burned all the oxygen and left them no breath for talking about anything else. But I find that in almost all cases, in that first argument, they'll find the root of their struggles as a couple and the seed of the affair.

To Stay or Go

Why do some marriages not only survive, but they actually grow in the wake of an affair? Couples who make it through are determined to look at themselves and not just to cast blame on their partner. They recognize that the affair arose as a symptom of long-standing problems between the two of them. They have a strong desire to make their relationship work. They understand that the work will not be quick and easy and they adopt a realistic time frame. Deep down, they know they have a genuine love for one another.

If both partners sincerely work on the relationship, glimmers of hope will spring up all along. For most people, however, it seems to take at least a year to move through the full cycle of renewal.

When couples don't stay together, it has less to do with the particular circumstances of the affair than with the couple's long-term history, and with their willingness and ability to explore it. Sometimes it seems the reservoir of resentment and hostility is just too overwhelming, and that so much damage has been done that there is little left to salvage.

When one partner cannot or will not do anything to change damaging behavior, then the only solution may be for the other partner to leave. To stay in a relationship in which one continues to be hurt reflects a belief that one deserves no better. It's not a failure or a sign of weakness to leave a destructive relationship. Rather, it's a sign of success and strength in oneself and heightened self-esteem.

There is no "right" way to deal with an affair: some couples stay together, some couples separate. No matter what the eventual outcome, an affair challenges both partners to look at themselves and their relationship in a radically new way.


About the Author

A licensed therapist for over 28 years, Sharon M. Rivkin, MA, MFT, is the author of The First Argument: Cutting to the Root of Intimate Conflict and developer of the "First Argument Technique," a groundbreaking method that heals and saves relationships. For more info go to http://www.sharonrivkin.com




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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Courtesy And Manners Between Couples by Timothy Kolawole

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Courtesy And Manners Between Couples by Timothy Kolawole


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Courtesy and manners should be part and parcel of every married couple's lives, but these social niceties are ignored or even sneered at today. Believe it or not, courtesy is timeless because it's based on the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Good manners never go out of style, no matter how many silly sitcoms you watch on TV. Unfortunately, courtesy and manners seem to be a dying art. If your husband lacks these qualities, the obvious time to discuss your differences was before the marriage. Now that you have said your "I dos", what should you do? When my mother insisted that we always wear a shirt at mealtime, refrain from putting our elbows on the table, say please to one another, and use good manners in our treatment of each other, she remarked, "You will never be in better company than the company you are in right now." I am most grateful for her insistence upon these things because I married a woman who enjoys courtesy and politeness. I am inclined to believe that most women do. A woman likes to be treated like a lady; therefore, a husband should continue giving his wife "preferential treatment" after they are married. It is a wise husband who opens doors, including car doors, for his wife and generally treats her as a gentleman should treat a lady. You will be making an investment in your wife's happiness and self-respect, which will increase her love for you. Since love begets love, this is one of the best investments you can make in your marriage. Once while holding a family conference in a church, I announced that during the next evening's session I would tell men "how to get your wife to treat you like a king," For some strange reason, we had our largest crowd the next night. "Are you ready to know how to get your wife to treat you like a king?" "Yes!" I heard hundreds of male voices say. "Then treat her like a queen!" My advice startled some of the men for its simplicity, but it works.

About the Author

Timothy Kolawole has helped many people in the area of family life. For more current information about family life style you want Please Visit: Marriage Answer

Stages of Long Term Relationships

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Stages of Long Term Relationships

Many Couples Counseling experts agree that there are relatively predictable stages to long term relationships. It is important to note that not all relationships include a legal vow of marriage so while these stages are traditionally called “Martial Stages” they are actually defining stages for couples who have been together long term.

Understanding the different stages that a long term relationship generally goes through is a way to help couples realize that they are not alone in dealing with the issues, thoughts and troubles that are found in these stages. Knowing they are not alone helps a couple understand that their relationship and its ups and downs are a part of a normal cycle and not a reason to call it quits.

If you approach these stages as a map then your understanding of them will serve you as a guide to traversing the sometimes difficult terrain of a lifelong committed relationship.

The Five Basic Stages of Long Term Relationships

  • The Romance, or Honeymoon Stage
  • The Reality Stage
  • The Childrearing Stage
  • The Accommodation Stage
  • The Success, or Transformation Stage

Here is a brief description of the Romance Stage

The Romance Stage, sometimes called the Honeymoon Stage or the Infancy stage, is by far the most discussed and studied. This makes sense when you consider that, as it is the first stage, most everyone has felt it and experienced it. It’s popular because it is both common and exciting. Yes, it’s a great ride, but keep in mind that most everyone who wants to ride gets a ticket.

In this stage, there is a feeling of well-being and physical desire for each other. This feeling is intense, with all the newness and excitement stimulated by the production of chemicals in your bodies that increase energy and positive attitudes as well as heighten sexuality and sensuality. It is common for couples in this stage to commit to each other permanently.

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Monday, July 27, 2009

Win Ex Boyfriend Back - Keep Your Dignity by Jim Zamjohn

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Win Ex Boyfriend Back - Keep Your Dignity by Jim Zamjohn


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Do you feel like you need to beg on bended knee to try to win ex boyfriend back? You may feel you need to lose any and all pride you have or lower yourself and feel 'less than'. There is no need to further hurt your self-image just because the breakup may have done a lot to hurt your pride. You should be able to retain your dignity and still win ex boyfriend back. There are things you can do that will make it unnecessary for you to go begging after him to get him back. The way you look at yourself can be hurt enough just by getting dumped. If, after you broke up with him, you realize you make a major mistake, you may feel like you need to demean yourself and beg him to forgive your mistake. To win ex boyfriend back that may not be what is required. Think about what attracted you to him in the first place, especially if he broke up with you. What kind of spirits were you in when you met? Did you have a different attitude? Try putting all the pieces back into the relationship that existed in the beginning if you want to try again. Let yourself be visible to him and make sure that he sees that you are the same person he fell in love with before. Also make him aware of the fact that you know he sees you. Make it impossible for him not to see that you are still that same person. Heck, even if he doesn't notice you, someone else just might and that could be as good as or even better than what you had. You can show him how wonderful you are, but you can't force him to want to get back together. However, there might just be someone else out there who takes notice and makes a move. If you think it was a mistake to have broken up with him, let him know. Tell him you don't expect him to come back and you understand his anger and that whatever happens going forward is OK with you. Let him know you know you made a big mistake and that you are sorry if you hurt him. Don't beg for forgiveness, but definitely ask for it. Win ex boyfriend back by begging is no good. Let him know that you wish things had worked out differently, you don't expect a second chance, probably don't even deserve one and then just walk away. He will make a move if he is curious about your motives or if he's just truly interested in getting back together with you. To accept the consequences of an action and admit a mistake takes great strength and character. He will notice what you have done and want to get back together if he is as special as you really believe he is. You may find it a huge uphill climb to win ex boyfriend back unless you know some magic love spells. If you were meant to be together, in marriage or in a long term relationship, then it will happen. You need to trick him a little and make him believe it is all his idea to get back together. Just know that you may have to may have to resort to some ninja or stealth tactics to win back ex boyfriend, but you do not have to give up your dignity to get it done.

About the Author

For a Free relationship repair eBook and additional Relationship Repair articles: How to fix a broken relationship




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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Should I remarry my ex spouse? by Gem Stone

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Taking Stock after Divorce by Sandra Prior


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It took hours of therapy, and more hours drinking vodka cranberries with friends, to figure out why I was in this sexually rewarding yet emotionally draining downward cycle. And the answer is that I was addicted to charismatic, unstable and emotionally unpredictable women. This was nothing new.

My pilot father died in a plane crash when I was 13, leaving me in the care of my mom, a charismatic, unstable and emotionally unpredictable woman. Left alone with three kids, she struggled mightily, particularly with me, the only boy.

I learnt to keep her happy and smiling by apologizing for things I hadn't done wrong, coddling her and subsuming my own wishes in order to keep the peace. All you head doctors out there won't be surprised that I lugged that steamer trunk of emotional baggage into my romantic relationships. From my 20-year-old film-auteur-wannabe varsity girlfriend to my wife, I had liaisons with tremendously talented and sometimes sweet women who demanded unconditional appeasement from me.

In taking responsibility for always picking the impossible girl over the sweet woman, I also had to accept my less charming characteristics. If cutting remarks and impatience were virtues, I'd be spooning with Joan of Arc. Every woman I have ever loved has endured withering sarcasm and condescension, an ugly side of me that I didn't fully realize until I watched a dear friend mock his sweet girlfriend for not being able to name any members of the Ramones. I thought to myself, God, is that what I'm like?

I try every day to be a little less of a prick, but some days I fail. And you realize that not every dream girl you meet is going to sign up for that. I try to be a better man and approach every date with optimism.

Still, dating fatigue kicks in. You reach a point where you've told your life story so many times, you feel like a bad comedian on an endless tour. When the Chardonnay arrives on the table, I'll open tonight's monologue with the self-deprecating anecdote about being the only whit guy at a former heavyweight champ's wedding. If it's a good audience, I'll save the death of my father for dessert.

Not long ago, I met a woman for dinner at a restaurant I cherish like a dependable friend. But that evening was a classic disaster; a pal had oversold a friend of hers, telling me that Karen could be Mary-Louise Parker's twin. Not quite.

We didn't hit it off, and when she excused herself for the ladies' room, I recalled how many women I'd brought here for dinner. By the time she returned with a bright smile and said, 'You were telling me about a story you did in Angola', I was up to 12 or 13.

It was all I could do not to start crying. Maybe I had exhausted my lifetime supply of 'the ones'. In the restaurant's mirrors, I could see my hair graying, my crow's-feet crawling and the circles under my eyes darkening. I felt old.

I quickly got the bill, said a very hasty good night and decided to walk the three kilometres home. A blustery autumn storm whipped debris through the streets as I made my way toward home at midnight.

My mind wandered to a December night in the last year of my marriage. My wife was away in Europe on business. After a long day, I sat on the leather couch in my room, watching the rain fall, and played Bruce Springsteen's 'Valentine's Day' over and over again. Our relationship by then was irrevocably troubled, but that night I longed for nothing more than to have her back in my arms.

As I walked home, I realized I missed the missing, the feeling that to one human you mean more than the earth and the sky. I wasn't lusting after another conquest; no, it was a craving for an intimacy that comes only after you've told someone all your stupid self-promotional stories and she loves you anyway. It was for a woman who becomes more interesting the more you understand the lines on her face. For a woman who appreciates the man you are and roots for the man you could become.


About the Author

For more articles on sexual health subscribe to Sandra Prior's online newsletter at http://intercell.shacknet.nu.




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Saturday, July 25, 2009

Are You Having Sexual Problems in Your Marriage? This Article May Help You... by Tony Darbyshire

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Are You Having Sexual Problems in Your Marriage? This Article May Help You... by Tony Darbyshire


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The first thing you should realize is that you're not alone if you're experiencing sexual problems in your marriage, or partnership. There are bound to be times when one partner is wanting to have sex more often than the other. Sometimes it's because one partner doesn't feel that the other person is giving enough time or attention to their sexual needs or desires.

Often the mismatch can be unrelated to the sex itself. How often have we felt unhappy, when some event happens in our lives, that throw us off balance. A good example is bereavement. When someone close to us dies it can affect many aspects of our day-to-day lives, and particularly on our desire to initiate sex. An upsetting event like bereavement can therefore have a profound effect on libido for many people.

There are so many examples, but I'm sure you can think of occasions when an 'external' factor has affected the way you feel about having sex, and these rarely have anything to with the love and friendship you feel for your partner. They can be to do with our jobs, our health, or our family. There are so many reasons for not wanting sex, and the list is very long.

So, what should you do?

First off, try not to feel bad about any mismatch that occurs. If you become upset and overly emotional it will usually end up making the problem worse, not better. Always do your very best to remain rational and stay calm. Try and look for the possible underlying causes that are creating the sexual problems. If it is an issue that is totally unrelated to the sex, then just be patient. Things will almost certainly improve as time passes, so just be tolerant and don't give up and get too frustrated. If matters don't improve, then that is the time to be asking the 'searching' questions; once you've come up with the questions, you can then begin to work on the answers needed for the problems you've found.

Secondly, if it does turn out to be an external factor that is causing the problem, or problems, what can you do about them? Many people feel that sex is such a huge part of their marital relationship that if things aren't right they think the best option is to separate, or get divorced. Nothing could be so far away from the truth. Some would say, whilst sex is really important in a marriage, problems can be resolved through good communication and discussion.

The simple fact is that when you've been married for a while, even if it's only a short period, the sex part can often begin to fade to dullness. This is especially so if one partner has a more vigorous libido than the other. Whilst some couples have a 'matching' sex drive, for many others there will be a mismatch and one partner often wants to initiate sex more frequently. There is no hard evidence that mismatches in libido happen more in men than in women, or vice versa.

The third point is that some sexual mismatches can reach the stage where one of you is no longer enjoying sexual contact. The possible outcome is that you only get involved to put off the arguments that could happen if you don't! You just need to both be aware that sexual mismatches can happen from time to time and be sensitive to each other's needs. It won't help either of you if you switch off, or refuse to participate, so look for solutions that can help you both.

If you are the one with the lower sex drive then perhaps you should take some time to work out why this is so. A reputable doctor should be able to give advice or, at least, refer you to someone who specializes in sexual health matters. And if you're the person with the higher sex drive then don't put pressure on your partner to have sex if they don't want to.

It's so much more effective to communicate and have a sensible adult discussion about the issues, than it is to 'force'. By force I don't mean physically force… that is totally unacceptable, even in marriage! What can be very damaging is the use of 'emotional' force, so do your best to avoid it.

If you look around there is lots of help for you in solving your sexual problems that are occurring in your marriage, or partnership. Whatever you do, don't put extra pressure on each other if mismatches are happening; try and talk calmly about them and communicate your feelings without being too emotional. Seek help if you need to. Then you should be able to get on your way to a healthy and satisfying sex life with your partner.


About the Author

If you're going through some sexual problems then don't give up, and definitely don't get angry or aggressive. Even the deepest of problems can be overcome if you remain patient. This is a site with some really good advice on lots of relationship issues and is well worth a visit => http://www.relationship-secrets.com so go and take a look to see if it can help you.




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Friday, July 24, 2009

How To Win Back Lost Love by Miesha

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How To Win Back Lost Love by Miesha


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If you've had a divorce, you're probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different. You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the divorce really isn't a bad idea.

If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you've done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop the divorce, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.

If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won't be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your divorce was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, "I forgive you," though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you haven't forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the marriage, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it's likely that hurtful things would be said.

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won't be any need to rehash the past. While you're working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the divorce, forgive them for the break up itself and you'll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the "you" that they've left. They were with you because you have certain qualities - kindness, thoughtfulness - not because you're angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.


About the Author

If you want to stop your divorce and save your marriage, and need the best guaranteed advice and methods, I can point you in the right direction! I know exactly what it's like to be on the verge of divorce, to be searching for solutions and only hitting dead ends. I will provide you with proven methods to stop your divorce and save your marriage!

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